After returning to Great Britain, my mother continued her education and completed University in Scotland. She met my father, married him, and played a significant role in my birth before they returned to the United States. Within a few years of their return, my father started to have health issues that led to a stroke and the amputation of both legs, leaving him disabled for the rest of his life. As if her POW experience hadn’t been enough, my mother then cared for my father until he passed away at age 65. She did many things… raised four children, took care of the household, played nursemaid, hauled my father to a seemingly endless string of medical appointments, lifted his wheelchair, and rarely, if ever, complained! She was dealt another tough hand, but she played it the best way she could. I’m very proud of her and what she showed not just our family but anyone else who was privy to the situation.
When I finished sharing the story, I showed a picture of my mother and father’s wedding, a picture of Dad in his wheelchair, and a recent photo of Mom, now 78 and still smiling. For the first time in hundreds of talks, I got so choked up that I couldn’t disguise it. I fell silent for what seemed like a long time but was probably only 5-10 seconds. Somehow, the situation brought a bigger picture into focus for me. Despite all the adversity she faced, my mother’s life has been all about giving back, doing the right things and improving others’ lives. She tells me that she never considered leaving the horrible situations she faced, admitting that in most of them she really had no choice. As a wife and a mother, she has been an extraordinary role model. I know that if my father is looking down upon me as I type this, he’s nodding and probably has a tear in his eye. His life was so much more than it might have been without this amazing woman.
Do you draw strength from such outstanding examples? I do. You may have heard or read about my (now departed) role model, Major General Buz Baxter. When he was terminally ill he told me that in times where I felt the need for counsel and the comfort of his mentoring, I should “picture his presence and make decisions as if he were standing beside me.” I’ve used this model with my children and shared it with thousands of people, and I believe it is an incredibly powerful tool.
